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Intentionally on Purpose!

When the Actions Don’t Match the Words

Are your daily steps in alignment with the future you envision to live? It’s not just a matter of thinking or saying it out loud your actions must also be in alignment with that direction.

You don’t get in life what you want, you get what you prepare for!

If you wanted to be a doctor you would take the steps needed to head in that direction, get the schooling required, every step of that process would lead you to that profession, all of these actions are in alignment with the vision.

-        Are you actually living the life you really want right now?

-        If not, are you doing anything to get to that life?

When the actions don’t match the words, believe the actions!mistakes,fear

I think a lot of times difficulties and obstacles can lead you to believe you aren’t meant for this or it’s not your path but I disagree.

Difficulties and obstacles are your personal challenge to either quit or forge ahead and the question is which do you choose to do?

If what you seek truly means that much to you then the answer to that question should be quite easy. Maybe the difficulty or obstacle is there to create personal strength, strength you will need in your envisioned goal. Or maybe it is there to help build another aspect of your personality, an aspect that will enhance your success in the envisioned goal or further beyond that. I think giving up because you are afraid of failing, because you feel it’s too hard or because you aren’t confident of how things will turn out will create an emotional result that is much worse.

-        Regret is there to haunt you because you gave in to the fear.

-        Failure is there to remind you that you had the courage to try.

Anything is possible for anyone at any time but nothing will ever happen if you never take the chance.

I don’t fully believe that anything unsuccessful is failure because the experience may direct you to another path, one that you wouldn’t have discovered without first attempting the unsuccessful path. Some of the most brilliant discoveries were by accident while attempting to do something else, sometimes when going towards your intended purpose you discover something greater.

2014 marks the 80th anniversary of the discovery of Penicillin, which was by accident, so is it really a failure if the path you are currently on leads you to something better, something that may change our existence positively? Lives have been saved because of this discovery, I imagine that Sir Alexander Fleming never focused on anything but the positive outcome of his accident.

Published reports credit Fleming as saying: “One sometimes finds what one is not looking for. When I woke up just after dawn on Sept. 28, 1928, I certainly didn’t plan to revolutionize all medicine by discovering the world’s first antibiotic, or bacteria killer. But I guess that was exactly what I did.”

We have all been given the tools we need to activate our vision and your belief enhances those tools to create success. Believe you can succeed and you will.

If you never step into your light how will you ever discover the possibilities that await you?

The vision you have, the one you want to see manifest, you absolutely NEED to believe in it with everything in you, both consciously and subconsciously. Go passionately toward your path without fear carrying with you the will power to withstand all obstacles that may come up, there is no alternative!

believe in your path

 
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Posted by on April 16, 2014 in Blog

 

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Looking Ahead

While Staying Present!

It’s necessary to find a happy medium between these two states in order to find success within both.

Looking Ahead – Of course everyone looks ahead to the future, that’s where we place all the beautiful and dreamy things we want to accomplish. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? Obviously, which is why we set goals within timeframes that are attainable but keep in mind that those timeframes can be flexible, just because you haven’t reached a goal at a point when you expected doesn’t mean you give up or abandon the dream, it just means the timeframe gets extended. I’ve always set my goals a little higher because I have big dreams and high expectations and at times I’ve been told I’m a dreamer but so far the dreams I really wanted to work out have manifested, maybe not always for when I planned them but usually when I’ve used every last bit of effort I have and left nothing on the table. Success from really hard work has both internal and external rewards but honestly I think internally, pride of accomplishment when in pursuit of your dreams is more rewarding than the actual success.

-        If everything in life is easily accomplished then where’s the challenge?

-        How do you know how far you can push yourself if you never extend past that comfort zone?

-        How do you know what you’re capable of or how far you can go if you’ve never stood near the edge?

Staying Present – I think this is where balance is most needed, at least for me because it’s easy to look ahead and dream but it’s difficult to know what you see in the picture ahead and not yet be there, especially if patience isn’t your strongest suit. I’ve struggled with this because I have a lot of energy for moving forward and getting things done and most of the time I get impatient with the stride, especially if it gets slowed down for any reason. Even though I know that all things happen for a reason, it’s a difficult thing for me to accept when I want to be on the fast track, when I can see what lies ahead but I can’t quite get there yet. Similar to a long distance runner, they pace themselves, they find a comfortable stride and stay in that zone to maintain it. This is a great asset although I haven’t fully developed it yet, I’ve been forced into it at times and even though I think it’s necessary to help increase aspects of my character through obstacles that help build and challenge me sometimes I overthink it and it becomes overwhelming.

Just recently I had to slow my stride and I think it’s because I wasn’t balanced between these two states, I was overanxious to move ahead and tried to push past the Universe’s timeline for all things progressing, not just my own.

Not everything in life progresses as we initially envision it, as events unfold, the picture transpires, adapts or changes. Sometimes the end result we initially saw or wanted changes into something we desire more or didn’t realize at the time because emotionally we weren’t there yet.

As I challenge myself personally so do those in my life and the Universe challenges us all through experiences that we sometimes face together. Through those experiences bonds are formed and/or strengthened by an immeasurable faith in humanity and each other.

thank-you for being there

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Ties that Bind

Releasing the Past!

The world of hurt caused by the feeling and expression of Anger, Grudge and/or Hurt can be overwhelming enough to stunt, damage or impede your personal growth and progression in life for the period of time it takes for you to purge it.

Most anger or grudges you hold onto come from a deep dark place of hurt, acknowledging that hurt and nurturing your feelings back into a positive state is the only way to move forward.  Obviously this is easier said than done in the lives of many, I know I’ve had my struggles with it.  When you feel wronged by another it can be difficult to let it go, most of us just want acknowledgement, to be heard, to be validated, to have our say and these are the most important parts of the process to help you move on and let it be.

Acknowledgement isn’t always easily found or accommodated:

  • The anger or grudge may be directed at someone who has now left the physical world
  • You aren’t able to find the right words to express exactly what you need to say to someone
  • The one causing the hurt is not easily reached mentally or emotionally which prevents them from fully understanding the negative effect they’ve had on you.

Not everyone realizes how much their words or actions can hurt another and some think “don’t be so sensitive” but in reality it’s that “sensitivity” that is you who you are and if they really know you then they know what will hurt you and should adjust accordingly.  I don’t mean walk around certain people like you’re on egg shells but know your audience and don’t expect everyone else to adjust to you if you don’t even try to adjust to them!

If you want others to be respectful of your feelings then be respectful of theirs, it’s as simple as it’s quoted:  “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  It doesn’t get more golden than that!words that hurt

If you become aware that you have hurt someone through your words or actions it is important to make amends not just for your own consciousness of behaviour but to help them process through their hurt.  I am not by any means going to say that I’m perfect, no one is!  I know I’ve been responsible for hurting someone’s feelings with my words or actions but my conscious always knows when I’m in the wrong and I try to make amends in whatever way I can through apology, understanding and validation.  The “sweep it under the table and forget it” isn’t the action to take when you realize you are wrong, it is only through acknowledgement that you can help the one you’ve hurt to let go of it and move ahead without issue.  It’s actually an important process for you as well to know you’ve made steps to correct words or actions that you know aren’t right because even though karma is a process associated with unconditional intention, if your intention isn’t to correct your wrongs then it is likely your karmic outcome will contain a few hiccups or difficulties.

Moving past hurt is basically a process you create for yourself, through whatever means, to help you channel it outward so it can then be released.  I journal my way through all the issues that cause me hurt or discontent and it is the best form of therapy for me but what works for me may not work for another, it’s just a matter of finding the process that works best for you but do try, it is important to release issues that prevent you from moving forward.

Holding onto past hurt doesn’t just control your life in the present it ruins it because it causes unhappiness and negative thoughts, negative thoughts sometimes evolve into negative actions.  Without resolution these issues will spill over into your future which can hold your life in a place of continuous cycle and recall of the moment(s) of hurt when it occurred.

It’s not as much about giving the one who has caused you hurt a break and letting it go as it is about letting it go so it doesn’t continue to hurt you so deeply.  The hurt you allow through supporting your anger or grudge will continually cycle and can cause irreparable damage to you emotionally, mentally and as a result, sometimes physically.  These three aspects of your health are co-dependent upon each other and when one is low it can alter your quality of life and honestly I don’t think that is something anyone deserves or needs to endure.

If you can, look to those in your life that you trust and admire who you can ask for assistance, advice or support whether that is through listening or helping you to make a plan.  I’ve found that when I have someone to talk to it makes a huge difference because it allows me to step outside myself so I can get a clearer perspective and vision for going forward in a better direction.

As difficult as it may be, embrace the pain, allow yourself to feel it fully so you can then start to heal, the more you heal the more you will be able to let it go and when you’ve finally rid yourself of the hurts that have paralyzed you for so long you will be able to move forward and enjoy the happiness you deserve and the future you are destined to live.

emily's quote

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2014 in Blog

 

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Getting to Know YOU!

Breaking Down Your Own Walls to Discover the Person Within!

If you take the time to learn about those you aspire to know or spend time with why is it that you don’t take the time to love and learn about yourself? 

Peeling back the layers to find, understand, nurture and inspire the spirit within is an essential part of Self-Care that affects all aspects of your Self Influenced Behaviours.

Self-Image – How do you see yourself?

  • Whether you realize it or not, how you really see yourself is what you project to the world, if you are happy or unhappy others will see it and sometimes feel it.  We all have a distinctive energy around us that can either feel warm, cold or some variation in between and it either attracts or deters those who come near.  Even if you have a protective armor or wall around you that is preventing others from getting in and hurting you, remember it is also keeping them out and preventing them from knowing the real you.

Self-Pride – Where have you set the bar?

  • Your approach to everything in life will be affected by how much value you place on your personal ethics.  You know where your strengths and weaknesses are, continuous improvement of self feeds and nourishes your self-pride which in turn builds confidence, that confidence is characterized by your personal belief that you are limited by nothing and open to everything.

Self-Respect – What are your boundaries?

  • The big question here is how many liberties are you willing to give others in their desire to take what they can from you without giving anything back?  Boundaries aren’t just to let others know how far they can push you but to let everyone know how much you value yourself.  In the past I have allowed my boundaries to be stretched beyond what felt comfortable for me because saying no felt like I was hurting someone’s feelings but what felt worse was knowing that I was compromising my boundaries and teaching that person that taking advantage of me was Ok.

Self-Reflection – Why do you do the things you do?

  • Reflection is your best source for tapping in to who you once were at a time when you liked yourself and it is possible to find your way back to those thoughts, behaviours and boundaries that defined and shaped your life then.  Through self-reflection I have discovered many things I hadn’t realized or been tuned into at the time which has brought me a greater sense of awareness.  Awareness only transpires when you keep your heart and mind open, the hunger to learn and evolve is the wind beneath that carries you into this phase.  Often the reason for self-reflection is out of necessity because somewhere along the way you know you’ve gone off course.  Sometimes so far that anything other than where you currently are is better than continuing in what you know is the wrong direction, backtracking helps you to identify where you’ve made a wrong turn so you can find your way onto a path that is more positive for you.

We are each a small part of the universal source, interconnected on some level or altered state of consciousness.  We aren’t always in that altered state of consciousness but through it we experience a heightened sense of awareness towards ourselves and others.  Taking the time to step outside yourself every once in a while can help you to gain clarity when times are difficult and provide you with insight when your prospects seem skewed.

Self-Sabotage – Who are you trying to ruin?

  • Sometimes immersing yourself in negative familiarity is more counter-productive then you realize because while you may feel you are progressing forward you are actually suspending your evolution.  Stepping into or maintaining such familiarity may seem easier than addressing the root of a personal issue and then again sometimes you don’t realize there is a personal issue to address because your conscious mind is providing you with enough distraction to hide from facing what may be overwhelming and/or painful.

When you allow your past to have life in your present it’s like carrying a backpack around with you 24 hours a day that contains everything you haven’t dealt with and you bring it into every interaction and relationship.  You may not actually be showing others the contents but the unresolved issues are displayed within every action and reaction.  You can’t change your past, you can only learn, heal and grow past that which has challenged and changed you.

Take notice of how certain events and circumstances affect you, be mindful of how you cope, whether it is an internal or external reaction and remember Self-Care for yourself is necessary!  Breaking down your own walls to get to really know and understand the person within will positively enhance all areas of your life and help you to shape a future that benefits not just you but everyone around you.

self care

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Blog

 

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You Have the Power

To Change your Story

The life you live is your choice, Always! 

If your life is not the way you like it you can change it, there are always options and the only reason you may feel trapped at times is because you won’t allow yourself to see those options.  There are always obstacles in life to overcome to reach the desired destination but it is your choice as to whether you are going to let those options stand in your way or if you are going to find an alternate route around them.  If you give up and quit, that is because you have made the conscious decision that you are not going to succeed but it isn’t the obstacles that prevented you from moving forward it was you!

Story, Wooden peg and colorful words series on rope

Obstacles are on your path to challenge and teach you that anything worth having is worth fighting for and to help build who you are to become.  Stepping outside your comfort zone is where your biggest opportunities lie and it’s not that you are going to be successful with everything you try but taking a chance will build your self-worth and not taking the chance will lower it.  I have personally found that even if the road I’ve travelled doesn’t pan out I feel pride because at least I tried it.  Regret, in my opinion, sucks the life out of your self-worth, self-pride and self-respect and will continue to drain that part of your psyche until you let go and resolve to move forward with a life plan that better builds you.

I’ve taken chances and risks to walk on many different paths in the effort to find the one that is truly my own and I don’t believe I’m done yet.  There always seems to be another level even higher than the last that I need to reach for next and every step I take leads me to new discoveries, sometimes daily.  Discoveries that tantalize and inspire my inner creativity with insight into new and exciting prospects, prospects I hadn’t even considered.  Letting go of fear is your only option for moving forward, fear can be paralyzing and it lives only in your mind, it’s not an actual circumstance.  Danger and extreme peril, both are actual circumstances that can evolve to exist but fear is a component of the mind, created by the mind.

When you become stuck it is because there is something in your emotion (usually fear) that is continuing to cycle and reminding you that you can’t get there from here but really you can, you just have to find another route.

Just because you’ve fallen down doesn’t mean you stay there, the only reason you are unable to see a way out or up is because your vision is clouded but it can and will clear if you want and allow it to.  Letting go of the fear to take a chance is the single most important step you need to take to move in the direction you seek, if you don’t know the direction look within, all the answers you will ever need are in there. 

If your story is not going the way you want you may have quieted your instincts so much that they are barely an audible whisper but the more you allow them to have a voice the louder they will get.  Your instincts, intuition, inner voice, however you want to refer to it will never guide you to a place that isn’t necessary for your personal growth but you are not meant to get stuck there.

I absolutely love Jane Fonda’s analogy of this kind of emotional challenge, I can’t quote it verbatim but it is somewhere along these lines; every time you exercise you create little miniscule tears in the muscle (that sore, tired feeling after exercise, like you really worked out), these tears heal quite quickly and become stronger and so muscle grows.  This is like the emotional challenges, they make little tears in our emotion and we heal and become stronger because of the experience, it’s not that we are broken but rather broken open and the opportunity for positive change and new beginnings can be the result of that experience if you don’t allow it to define you.

We all deserve to live the life we hope for and envision and there is no such thing as too late or too old.  You know your heart and inner spirit better than anyone and you know when you are going against it because inner war is the result, that conflict creates negativity that can spiral into dark areas that can damage you significantly, sometimes altering you into an entirely different person.  I do believe that everything happens for a reason and even though negative experiences are needed for growth, as are positive, they can sometimes create a tornado effect within you and the only way to stop it is to take away its wind.

Take back your power, surround yourself with people that build and inspire you, live and breathe positive thinking and change your story!

what if

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Relationship Within

Be Your Own Champion!

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. 

I believe the relationship within travels a different path in everyone.  Sometimes we treat others better, sometimes we treat others worse but we should be treating ourselves the same way we treat others because when we start scaling ourselves against each other inner emotions start to feed the ego.  Respect for yourself first leads to respect for others and for life itself, respect is the key component to maintaining healthy relationships and gratitude the key for keeping the ego in check.  A relationship without respect or gratitude will inevitably become toxic and the length of time spent in a toxic relationship can determine the length of time it may take you to get over the emotional damage created from it.

respect yourself

Trying and failing will always be better than failing to try!

Failing to try will lower every form of how your value yourself, taking action will enhance your inner spirit and be a great reminder to you that nothing is going to keep you down.  Action is very motivating as well as rewarding because at the very least, whether success was achieved or not, your self-worth and inner devotion is nurtured, acknowledge and validated.  It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, of course succeeding is always hoped for and welcomed but it doesn’t define you nor should you let it.  Regret is usually the experienced effect from wondering how things may have turned out had you tried and the best reason for at least taking a shot.  Regret stays with you, it stays there to remind you that you didn’t believe in yourself enough when you needed to and that exact same opportunity likely won’t present itself again.  We attract what we need when we need it and your personal growth and self-evolvement depend on you taking advantage of opportunities when they arise.  They aren’t presented at any old time, the Universe has carefully constructed all the necessary components needed to be in place to ensure your success.  Your emotional state of being, awareness and circumstance needs to be in alignment and the Universe knows when all of this comes together.  This isn’t just a guess, coincidence or dumb luck, everything happens when and how it’s supposed to and you are only asked to trust it and have faith.  If success doesn’t occur it’s not because you are a failure, it’s because it wasn’t meant to.  Success isn’t always what we think it is, I’ve learned plenty of lessons through failure and that is what turns out to be the success.  That education gave me the experience I needed to succeed in the area I’m supposed to, an area that I might not have succeeded in had I not had the experience.  Not everything is meant to work perfectly but all lessons and opportunities are meant to teach and advance us in some way.

lifes lessons

What is the Universe trying to tell me? 

Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to figure things out, they will become clear when they are supposed to.  Everything happens for a reason, by design, by forces greater than us conspiring to make it happen, nothing happens by coincidence.  Fate or destiny, however you want to label it, all happen for reasons not yet known to us.  Reasons that will eventually become clear at the time you are most open to understanding and/or receiving it.  You aren’t always open and there are times when circumstance detracts your attention and obstacles manifest, whether you’ve attracted them through your thoughts or not. 

Remember:  whatever you give the most thought to is what will increase and be sure to keep in mind that even if your conscious thought is thinking about something it wants to attract, your subconscious thought may be thinking otherwise.  These two states of awareness have to be in alignment (working together) to be positively effective.

For example: 

-          If you are thinking you want to lose weight consciously but your subconscious mind is telling you that it’s just not going to happen, then it definitely will not happen.

-          If you are thinking you want to quit a habit that is affecting your life negatively but your subconscious comes up with all sorts of reasons as to why it’s not going to work then you diffuse yourself before even starting and it definitely will not happen.

Not all but most of us have a habit of sabotaging our own efforts for a variety of reasons but there is one in particular that is most often behind it all and that is concession; acceptance and acknowledgement of defeat.  Giving up before you even begin to try is a good way to prevent failing but it’s a great way to prevent success, what you don’t realize is that you’re failing yourself by not trying.  You’re telling your inner spirit (the one that you should be nurturing) sorry the ego is going to win on this one because it’s the strongest but in reality it’s not it’s just the one you are choosing to feed.

If there is something you want out of life but you believe you will never have it, you will definitely succeed at never having it.  Your thoughts are more powerful than you may realize so be careful which side of the spectrum you place them.

Positive thoughts produce positive actions and positive results!

No matter what aspect of your life you desire to adjust or improve your heart and mind must be in it together, as long as they are there is NOTHING you can’t do!

Feed your inner spirit first, acknowledge what it needs and thrives on, validate and reward yourself for personal victories along the way and success will surely follow.

Ghandi-Quote

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2014 in Blog

 

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Protect Me Not!

I Need To Learn

Through most struggles positive change can occur but it may not if through the caring protection of another that you don’t go through the experience fully as needed.  It’s through struggle and success that we develop the tools to help us effectively deal with adversity or change and those tools help us to define who we are, what we are capable of and who we are to become.

Struggling to survive or to succeed, which are basically one in the same, are both characteristics we develop as a result of hardship and/or difficulty.  They build us into stronger people and usually help us to develop a stronger sense of respect, compassion, empathy, discretion, humility and integrity towards ourselves and others.  If you prevent someone from experiencing something, whether you are doing it out of love or not, while it is noble it may be of more harm than good because you may also be preventing them from experiencing the positive aspects that are also associated with those experiences.

For example, if you protect someone from the learning the consequences of how far they’ve pushed the boundaries you are preventing them from learning healthy limits.  Boundaries are the limits that are necessary to living a positive and productive life if one doesn’t learn that through trial and error than life ahead will likely feel like constant travel on a gravel road.

There are some experiences I’ve had that were far less than ideal and honestly I would have loved to have done without them but………if I had, I wouldn’t have learned how to make things right, how to adjust my position to accommodate and diffuse difficult change.

All lessons and experiences propel us into directions we may not have gone otherwise, if you protect someone from a learning experience you may also be preventing them from a growth experience and that will likely stunt their future potential.  Alternatively one could end up with an overdeveloped ego because they feel invincible and above consequence which would be a rather large awakening at the moment you aren’t around to deflect difficulty for them.

Another aspect to consider from not learning the healthy limits is that it may have an opposite effect and damage a one’s desire to succeed because adversity so far has been quite minimal.  It is through hardship and difficult times that the opportunity lies to further strengthen the desire to succeed.  If one doesn’t experience hardship or difficulty than their will to succeed suffers as a result, they become complacent and uninterested in doing more than what is required to get by.

You may as well be saying to them “I don’t think you can do this on your own, so I’m going to help” and in effect you’re creating a monster while lowering their self-confidence, self-worth and self-motivation all at the same time.  Chances are, after a while your own self-worth will start to diminish because the more complacent they become, the more you end up picking up the slack and feeling responsible for it.  Maybe your efforts have kept or are keeping that person from becoming the trail blazer they were meant to be, you will never know.

struggle quote

So imagine how different our world would be had we not had certain trail blazers like George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and even Noah ( he did build the Ark ).

Similar to the overbearing mother or father, you can’t prevent adversity in another person’s life because it is there to enhance them in some way and in your honest and caring efforts you are butting heads with the Universe.  I think a lot of people believe their personal karma affect is a certain way because of what they’ve done wrong but karma has more to do with the intention.  When you do something for another with positive intention it doesn’t create bad karma, I believe the adverse effect you may be suffering is the result of battling against personal destiny.  What you are experiencing is Resistance because you are going against the natural flow of the Universe.

 
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Posted by on February 19, 2014 in Blog

 

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